Tales From the School Yard
by KinkyEyepatchShit
Summary: The story of five high school students. Their never ending journey through school, less than edible lunch, and the destructive habits of the lesser sane student body. This is their story. R&R no OC's again. GO ME!


Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai Deeper Kyo. A.K.A, I don't own any of these kickass or otherwise sexy characters. Oh woe is me…

A/N: Yet another high school-ish fic with the SDK-ers. Woot. This time, it's Kyo, Bon, Akira, Akari and Hotaru (Keikoku). This little scenario came to me…I don't remember…it just did. I call it the name game. Warnings include: violence, language, oocness (Kyo talks again. SORRY!) and also, a surprise at the end. HAHA. I love my surprise. (Evil smirk) ENJOY!

**Tales from the School yard: **

**The legend of bloody Friday (which really happened on a Wednesday, but that doesn't matter really)**

A sunny School yard, mid spring. 6th period lunch. (12:08 p.m)

"Damn, you're practically sailor moon material kid," taunts a gray haired teen, pulling out a blade of grass and placing it between his lips.

The blond frowns, "It's not my fault that Yun-Yun's names suck."

A pink haired girl holds up a pair of chopsticks under a dark haired teens' nose, and prods,

"Won't you at least try this wonderful lunch I made for you?"

A single crimson eye flutters open and peers expressionlessly at the morsel of moldy green food perched between the wooden utensils.

"I'm fine, thanks," the teen states, and closes his eyes once more, leaning his back against the thick tree trunk behind him.

"You look tired Kyo! Alright, I'll save this for later!" the girl chirps happily, grinning as she sets the lunch tray on the grass beside her.

"Well, at least your name isn't something as crappy as Bontemaru," says a strawberry haired boy, shooting a smug look at the gray haired teen.

In return, Bontemaru squints his single eye at the boy and states in a booming voice,

"Bontemaru is an awesome name! It means 'great one'. I was named after a god that left heaven in an uproar after another god threw a bucket of fried chicken at him."

He pauses in order to lift his chin defiantly, "I'm gonna take over the world one day, so you'll have to remember the name of your supreme ruler!"

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it," states the strawberry blond, rolling his eyes skyward in disbelief, "A bucket of fried chicken? That was the best you could do? Loser."

"It really means great one?" the other blond inquires, golden eyes blinking in confusion, "In what language?"

The pink haired girl giggles, "Oh Kei-chan, you're so sully! Stupid-Bon is just trying to boost his ego by telling people it means something it doesn't," She explains, "and failed miserably at a story to boot."

"It means dumbass Cyclops in Latin," pipes up Kyo sarcastically.

Keikoku stares at him, eyes glowing with something akin to wonder, "Really? That's even worse than mine. I mean, my name may or may not have something to do with a star but… Cyclops? That really sucks," he states, glancing at Bon with a look of pity.

"Don't pity me, stupid!" snaps Bon, "He's just pulling your leg, stop taking things so literal! It really does mean great one," he carries on.

"You know, I liked your other name better," comments the pink haired girl thoughtfully, "Masamune. It's not so bad!"

"Yeah, you'd know a lot about changing your name, huh Tokichiro?" Bon snidely retorts.

A chopstick is thrust toward Bon's seeing-eye, so close that he could see the individual wooden splinters on the end.

Bon shrieks loudly, and quickly squeezes his eye shut.

"The only one that can call me by that name is Kyo," the pink haired girl growls, jabbing the end of her chopstick against Bon's eye-lid for good measure, "Watch your mouth or next time it'll be a ball-point pen," she warns.

Bon scrambles back a pace, nodding his head rapidly.

"Akari-chan," pipes up Keikoku, "Isn't Tokichiro a boys name?" he asks curiously.

The strawberry blond snorts skeptically, "Yeah it is, meaning Akari is a"

He gets cut off abruptly when his face is slammed into the grass, curtesy of Akari.

"My, you're so fussy Akira. Reminds me of the days I used to baby-sit you as a little boy," the pink haired girl coos, a dangerous aura radiating off of her as she rubs the younger teens face in the grass for emphasis.

"So anyway," says Bon as he cautiously scoots back over to his companions, keeping a safe distance from Akari, "Your name sucks, boo hoo. Blame this Yun-Yun guy for giving it to you," he continues, folding his arms across his chest and nodding.

"I already did," replies Keikoku, "this morning he woke up with three frogs in his underwear."

A stunned silence descends.

Bon coughs, hoping to clear the awkward air, "Yeaaaaah, I don't want to know how you got the frogs in there," he states.

"That's why you came to school with panties on your head," Kyo deadpans solemnly.

Keikoku shakes his head, "No, that was for something else."

The blond fails to notice the slightly alarmed looks that pass his classmates faces, with the exception of Akira, who was still head over heels in grass stains. And of course Kyo, who couldn't be bothered to give a damn.

"Yun-Yun kicked me a bunch of times and then put a lock on the wasabi jar," Keikoku continues, subconsciously rubbing at a particularly painful bruise on his shoulder. (A/N: does wasabi come in a jar?)

Akari claps suddenly, gathering the males' attention, "I know! Why don't we come up with a name for you Keikoku?"

The blond blinks twice, "…Okay."

And as simple as that, the name game began.

"I like the name Johnny," the pink haired girl cheerfully states.

Akira chooses that moment to rise from his humiliated stature, "Johnny? What the hell kinda name is that?" he protests, "It sounds like something you'd name your cat."

The image of an orange feline with large golden eyes pops into their minds.

It stretched languidly, and upon seeing a string, follows it, until it inevitably jumps right into a tub of freezing water.

With a low pitched yowl, the feline springs right out of the tub and latches its claws into some innocent bystander, one who looked a lot like Bon.

The males' screams were muffled by the cat hanging off his face as he runs around the room in a panic, trying to pry the car off.

One of the complimentary, hard-as-rock sugar cookies, owned by a student, flies through the air, shattering the mental images.

"What the hell was that?" mutters Bon, confusion etched on his face.

Akira shrugs, twirling her fingers through her pink locks, "No idea. Daydreams?"

The gray haired teen scowls, "Why would I daydream about a cat trying to kill me?"

"I have no idea silly-Bon," Akari replies with a sigh, "Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you that your greatest fear is a cat?" she suggests.

"I don't think so," Bon puts it bluntly, and to the point.

"Anyway," Interrupts Akira before any more arguing could start, "What about the name Hiro?" he says, pulling a remaining blade of grass from in-between his teeth, simultaneously wiping clods of dirt from his cheeks.

Akari wrinkles her nose in distaste, "Eww no! It sounds so common!" she complains.

Currently, the name game was down to three players, seeing as the to-be-named had found a fuzzy caterpillar to tease, and Kyo was seemingly asleep.

"I GOT IT!" Bon exclaims, grinning from ear to ear excitedly.

Akari and Akira stare at him expectantly.

The balloon of suspense builds,

"Shiromaru!"

Only to be popped by the needle of Bon's top five stupid suggestions.

"You can't be serious," Akira wearily says, "Its like, the worst name on the planet."

Akari nods urgently in agreement, "The universe," she adds, "It's like your new name, but worse."

Bon huffs indignantly, "Shuddap! You're just jealous of my skills! I'm giving the blondie here the honor of being named after me!" he boasts.

Keikoku eases into the conversation again, distractedly asking, "What name?"

Bon smiles proudly, "Shiromaru."

The blond stares blankly, "No way in hell," then goes back to the caterpillar poking.

"See?" Akira taunts arrogantly.

Akari leans over and taps Keikoku on the shoulder, getting his attention,

"Which one do you like better? Johnny or Shiromaru?"

Keikoku blinks, "Johnny. Definitely."

The pink haired girl beams, "HA! In your face! You got no skills!" she exclaims.

Bon grumbles angrily, complaining about pink haired cross dressers and snot nosed brats. How they were disrespecting the future ruler of the world.

"How bout Shunsuke?" suggests Akira, poising his fingers against his chin in a thought pose.

Akari also looks thoughtful, "It's got a nice ring to it."

"It sucks!" exclaims Bon sourly, an annoyed look on his face.

"You're just mad because your name sucks ass," Akari playfully teases.

"Yep," Keikoku agrees, prodding the caterpillar along a path in the grass.

"Hotaru."

Four pairs of eyes gaze at Kyo.

"Firefly?" Akira utters softly.

The dark haired teens' eyes snap open, and he smirks, "Sure. It's better than any of the shit you three came up with," he states.

Akari immediately brightens, "It's a great name Kyo! You're so creative!" she squeals, snuggling into the teens' side and beaming up at him with adoration.

"It's alright I guess," Mutters Bon sulkily, "Not as great as Shiromaru though."

Akira sneers at him, "I sure hope you don't name your child that."

"I will!" Bon proclaims, puffing his chest out proudly.

Akira shakes his head, "Dumbass. Names that bad should be illegal."

"So what do you think of your new name, Hotaru?" Akari inquires.

The blond glances at her and shrugs, "As long as it's not as crappy as Shiromaru," he trails off as his eyes follow the little caterpillar what had effortlessly crawled close to Akira.

"It's a great name!" Bon exclaims, "You guys are just jealous!" he huffs once again, and leans back against the grass.

Suddenly the bell for the end of 6th period shrilly pierces the air.

Students begin to hurriedly pack the remnants of their lunches, say good-bye to friends, and shuffle mournfully to class.

The five teens rise.

"It's back to science class for me," Akira coolly says, taking a step forward.

"I've got cosmetology," pipes up Akari. She batters her eyelashes flirtatiously in Kyo's direction, "You know Kyo, whenever you want your hair done or anything, I'd gladly do it for free. Or for a kiss…" she says, blushing at her own comment.

"No thanks," Kyo replies, face blank.

Bon was still sulking, "Not only did my future servants diss my kickass naming skills, I got to go back to math now," he complains.

The gray haired teen stumbles forward, stunned, as something kicks him in the ass.

He rubs his bum and glares at the culprit,

"Kyo, what the hell was that for?!"

Kyo stuffs his hands into his pockets and menacingly states, "Remember your place as servant number eight. Lower than the dirt on the ground."

Bon seethes, "Bastard! I'm not the servant! You are!"

Kyo raises an eyebrow in challenge, "Oh? Wanna bet?"

Akari giggles amusedly, tugging Kyo away from a glowering Bon,

"Now now Bon, leave Kyo alone. We wouldn't want him to kick your ass again, now would we?" she chirps.

"We wouldn't?" Akira sarcastically says.

They were getting closer to the double doors leading into the, most likely, swarming halls of the school.

"I would totally kill Kyo! You guys underestimate the great Bontemaru-sama!" Bon proclaims.

"Hey Bontemaru-sama, your fly's undone," Akari points out.

The gray haired teen meeps, quickly zipping his pants up, causing the A and A duo (Akira and Akari of course) to laugh.

"You would be looking done there!" Bon hisses, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Akari snorts cheekily, "Ha! That's funny! It's probably this big," she demonstrates, fingers about three inches apart, "Besides," moving on, "Kyo's all the man I need in my bed!"

Akira and Bon shudder at the mental images.

"Mine is definitely bigger than two inches!" Bon shouts, fully recovered after forcing the mental image out of his head.

"Hey Akari-chan," Hotaru pipes up with a thoughtful expression on his face.

The pink haired girl turns to him, "Hmm?"

"Yun-Yun said this belongs to you," the blond continues, holding up a lacey pink thong for all to see. (A/N: I don't know either)

"I was wondering where that one went," she says, snatching the article of clothing from him, "It's my lucky one."

Akira and Bon gape, faces the epitome of horror.

"Oh, so you are a girl," Hotaru comments, a note of surprise in his tone.

The pink haired girl giggles, "Of course I am! What would make you think otherwise?"

Kyo smirks knowingly as he pushes the school doors open and strides inside, the other four following as the doors shut behind them with a resonating thud.

"Because this one time, I was looking up your skirt as you went up the stairs, and it kinda looked weird up there," Hotaru innocently states.

A dangerous silence.

Then a pained cry and the sound of a body crashing into the wall with a sickening crunch follows, as Hotaru's body collides into the wall like a limp rag doll.

"YOU SCUM! How dare you peep on an innocent female!" Akari bellows, flames erupting from her open mouth like a dragon's fire.

"….You can't really call yourself a female though," mutters Akira with a shake of his head.

Kyo chuckles, clearly amused by the dark display of Akari's justice.

A pain-filled moan fills the air,

"Ouch. I was just answering your question," Hotaru complains, "I didn't even get to finish. After that happened, I asked Bon about it," the blond continues, "and he told me you were really a boy. So I was confused."

A similar thought races through the other teens minds,

'When are you not?'

"Bontemaru," Akari growls dangerously, eyes glinting with wicked intent.

"Oh shit." Bon squeaks, eye wide.

Akari belts out a war cry, footsteps thunder through the hall and Bon's frightened screams echo through the school.

"IT WAS AKIRA, I SWEAR! HOTARU'S LYING!"

Akari doesn't retort, spurned on by rage, she erupts into another war cry, consisting of the words, "Burn in hell with shriveled balls Bon!" as she chases the gray haired teen through the school.

"HELP!" a nearby student counsel member wails. "Akari-san is going to wreck the school again while pursuing Bontemaru-san!"

"….Shouldn't we do something?" Hotaru voices the victims thoughts, but with an air of calm.

Akira snorts, "Hell no! Do you want to die?" he counters.

"…No," The blond space-case slowly replies.

"Then don't do anything," Akira says.

"It's better to watch anyway," Kyo finally speaks up, "and if we're lucky, after Akari catches him, she'll dangle him by his eyepatch from the principals window."

This was said with a twinge of hope in Kyo's otherwise careless voice.

"Isn't that a three story fall?" Hotaru inquires.

"Mhm," Kyo responds with a smirk.

Suddenly a high pitched wail hits the air, followed shortly by a burst of evil cackles.

"Looks like the shows' about to start," comments Akira amusedly.

"Too bad I don't have a camera," Kyo muses.

"My phone has one," Hotaru pipes up.

Akira grins with excitement, "Oh good."

The screaming gets louder as they near the principals office.

"I wonder where the principal could have gone?" Hotaru ponders.

Akira shrugs, "Lunch probably. Who gives a crap? All I care about at the moment is Bon's humiliation."

Kyo chuckles, "And it's gonna be a long drop to the ground for him," he adds.

And then the three of them burst through the doors, Hotaru's camera phone raised toward the turned back of Akari.

But the sight was something many students would talk about for years to come.

Kyo, Akira and Hotaru take one long, horrifying look.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" (A/N: No, Kyo did NOT scream.)

Hotaru accidentally presses the record button as he drops the phone to the ground in shock.

The picture was a side view of a lip lock between the pink haired girl and the gray haired teen.

Akari's eyes were wide in shock, while Bon's face was twisted in a grimace.

Their voices carry out into the hallway outside, where members of the student body stood with ears pressed against the door, while others stood in wait.

"YOU GUYS WERE MAKING OUT!" Akira's voice rings out accusingly.

"W-We weren't!" Akari wails, "I grabbed him by the hair and was on my way to the window, dragging him, when he suddenly stood up and kissed me!" she makes a disgusted sound.

"…Maybe now would be a good time to disinfect your mouth or something," Hotaru suggests.

"WAAAH! I was saving my kisses for Kyo! Now I could die!" Akari shrieks.

A low snort sounds, "Heh, I never knew you batted for the other side Bon," Kyo comments. (A/N: I got confused on how the saying went so…)

"I DON'T!" Bon adamantly protests, "I TRIPPED!"

"Into her lips?" counters Kyo skeptically, "Bullshit."

"I didn't know you played soccer Bon," pipes up Hotaru.

A sigh, "It's baseball Hotaru," Akira explains, "by Kyo's not talking about sports."

"Bon now I'm really going to kill you!" Akari screams.

"Just…don't worry about it Hotaru," Akira murmurs, his voice nearly drowned out by Bon's frightened screams.

Something crashes into the door, sending the students against it stumbling back in alarm.

"I-It was an accident!" Bon's muffled voice protests.

"Accident my ASS! YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO RUIN ME AND KYO!" Akari retorts, sounding as if the sentence was said through gritted teeth.

"Akari's ass is an accident?" Hotaru questions.

"….Shut up Hotaru."

For half an hour, Bontemaru's pained screams and Akari's enraged chants of death filled the school halls.

That and gossip.

The next day, the front page of the school newspaper was decorated with a giant photo of the legendary lip lock, with the headline,

'**Bon bats for the other team??**

**Akari a man?!' **

And so, that day was forever know as Bloody Friday, even though it was really Wednesday. It was also known as Akari's six hour reign of terror.

A news report later runs the brief story of a young teen who was tragically hung by his eyepatch out of a three story window.

It looks as though Akari had gotten her revenge after all.

Kyo was satisfied with the eyepatch stunt.

Akira was happy with Bontemaru's humiliation.

And Keikoku got a new name.

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hahahahhahahhahahaha! (laughs for ten minutes) man that was great. For me at least. Review if ya like, flamers can kiss it. I really hope you guys aren't traumatized by the ending. Oh well. Now here's what I'm gonna do. If you guys liked this, and want more, let me know in your review. Give me a few ideas, and I'll see what I can do. I was thinking a road trip or something but…meh. It all depends on how much you guys like this. Errors, let me know about and I shall fix.

Hopefully you didn't get too confused. If you did, PM me and I'll explain. (nod) thanks for reading. REVIEW.

HotIceRed


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